Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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