i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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