woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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