My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
