how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
