wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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