theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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