thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
