Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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