I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
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You have to summon your inner elephant
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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