While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
