But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I CAN MOONWALK!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
