We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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