I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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