i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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