The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
