wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am one with the molecules
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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