Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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