No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
