i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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