No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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