All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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