why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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