I'm sorry my penis didn't work
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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