I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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