**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
