Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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