:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
