Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
