When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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