I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
