ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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