She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
