My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
