Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
