my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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