I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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