great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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