I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
