Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
