YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize