I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
