Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
