well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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