Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
