my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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