You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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