I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
