Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
