the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
worst night to have a conscience
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
