Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
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