You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
