She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
