I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
