Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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