Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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