Just fell off a train. Bad.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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