Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Houston, we have a blender
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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