I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
