she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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