fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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