remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize