So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish you could order shots online.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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