ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
