Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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