Fine. I'll sleep in my office
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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