Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
